Can't wish away the dismal days
by amethyst-labyrinth
Summary: Quaxo and Tugger navigate though collage life, young adult hood, their complicated relationship, and a whole lot of other issues. Human AU Edit I Fix the coding problem.
1. Chapter 1

You want to live off campus?" Rum Tum Tugger said somewhat surprised to the young man sitting across from him in the coffee shop.

"Yeah," Quaxo answered absentmindedly stirring his coffee. "I don't want to live in a dorm. I need my privacy and I won't get that living in a dorm with a room-mate I don't even know."

Tugger was thoughtful staring at Quaxo before him, studying him. His face was pale nearly white from lack of sunlight and staying indoors. It was a stark contrast to his black feathered hair that always seemed to stick up looking like giant cat ears. Always giving Tugger the urge to pet him. He was thin too almost sickly looking, but he was slowly gaining his weight back and Tugger was pleased that Quaxo was eating scone with his coffee, but Tugger was worried about him and wondered if Quaxo would take care of himself living alone. He was still so depressed.

"Why don't we move in together," Tugger suggested breezily. "I certainly don't want to live at home anymore and see Munkustrap anymore then I have too," He growled. "And and agree with you about living with a stranger."

"Tugger," Quaxo replied sternly. "I want to get a small one bedroom flat"

"Sounds cozy, perfect for us," Tugger cajoled popping a pice of his own scone in his mouth.

"I plan on having just one bed."

"Good we'll get a double bed. Us sharing a bed shouldn't be a problem, we've done it before," He winked cheekily.

"Tugger," Quaxo sighed warily.

"Mist…"Tugger began then stopped abruptly.

"It's alright," Quaxo quickly said. "You-you can call me that if you want. It's not going to trigger me. She gave that name, I liked the name it's not a bad thing."

"Mistoffelees," He continued softly testing the name out once again. "I'm just going to hang out at your place anyway when I'm not at school or working, falling asleep on your sofa. It makes sense that we move in together." Carefully he reached over and placed his hand on top of Quaxo's. "Look I understand that you're not ready to move forward or even define what our relationship is. After everything that's happen and what you've been through last year I get that, I really do. And I'm not trying to presser you or force myself on you."

"Oh Tugger, I know you wouldn't do that," Quaxo interjected softly.

"I can get a sofa bed and sleep on that oaky? If live together we can take care of each other."

"I can barely take care of myself these days munch less someone else," Quaxo mumbled running a head through his hair making it stick up even more and making Tugger wanting to pat it back down.

"That's what I'm taking about, I can make sure you eat, drink water, sleep, take your meds and you can do the same for me," He smiled.

"You're not on medication," Quaxo told him darkly.

"If I get like the flu or something," Tugger quickly said. "We can tell each other how our day was over dinner, not be alone, just being together watching TV listening to music, just doing nothing."

"And what about when _**you**_ have a date?" Quaxo challenged him. "Are you going to bring them back to the flat or stay at their place all night."

Tugger pulled back and ran his hands over his face and groaned in frustration and brushing some of his long blond hair back.

"I'm not going to go on dates or anything like that I don't want to, I just want to be with you and no one else," Tugger said told him truthfully.

"Just wanting to be with me never stopped you before," Quaxo hissed clutching his coffee cup in anger making the liquid slosh back and forth .

"They weren't dates and if it wasn't for Munkustrap pulling a Macavity move on us I wouldn't even been spending all that time with Bomba in the first place!"

"Your brother isn't to blame for everything," Quaxo said told him evenly.

"I was an idiot in high school and you were dating Cassandra at the time."

"I'm not talking about that. You hardly even came to visit me at the hospital," Quaxo Muttered softly.

"I know… I thought I wasn't wanted or needed," Tugger admitted.

"That never stopped you before ether," Quaxo challenged him again.

"I was scared, seeing you like that, I felt helpless and it was just easer to let other people tell me what to do then to think for myself and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you really needed me. Please give me another chance, give us another chance," Tugger begged him.

"I just don't think I can be you want and need right now."

"How do you know what I want and need? Half the time I don't even know what I want or need. Look I meant what I said about sleeping on the sofa and the other stuff. I'm not the lovable sex maniac tomcat that everyone thinks I am. I miss you and for what it's worth I miss her too. I'm sorry that she died," He finished softly.

Quaxo was silent he finished his coffee and scone before speaking.

"Are you going to clean the shower drain."

"Quaxo I…"Tugger blinked. "What?"

"I'm assuming you're still into personal hygiene?"

Tugger nodded.

"So after you take a shower the drain will get clogged with your hair and I really don't want to have to clean that."

"Oh yeah I'll clean up after myself," He answered somewhat baffled.

"I don't mind doing the dishes if you take out the garbage and don't expect me to do your laundry."

"I don't," Tugger paused. "So dose this mean yes?" He asked hopefully.

"I need to talk to Dr. Diavolo first, see what he thinks and then my parents."

Tugger scowled, but didn't argue, Dr. Diavolo had been more help to Quaxo than anyone else had been in the past year.

"Say when I am I going to meet your doctor?" Tugger asked.

"Never."

"Why not?" Tugger pouted.

"You'd flirt with him," He said crossing his arms.

"Not on purpose."


	2. Chapter 2

"Please explain to me why your whole family including your Uncle and my father are coming flat hunting with us, when we're the ones who are going to be living there?" Tugger fumed annoyed.

"They want to see where we're going to live," Quaxo shrugged getting into the passenger side of Tugger's car.

"Can't they see it after we picked out a place?" Tugger whined as he began to drove.

"You tell them that."

It never ceased to amazed Tugger how Quaxo's sever younger sibling had the ability to be cute and creepy at the same time. Septuplets, four girls and three boys ten years younger than Quaxo and still able to look alike.

"We'll help you out of the car, Mr. Grandpa!" The seven of them chorused to Tugger's father affectionately know as Old Deuteronomy a vicar.

"Don't call him that!" Tugger scolded. Old Deuteronomy had been married numerous times out living his wives and fathering his children later in life. Tugger shook his head as he looked at his father with his long gray hair and beard that seemed to blend into one. He wondered how his father could wear a bulkily sweeter and fingerless knitted fingerless gloves on such a June hot day.

Quaxo's Uncle Bustopher Jones looked like Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot with his funny little mustache and immaculate dress, Tugger wouldn't be surprised if they found half a dozen mysteries be the time the day was over, Cat Morgan Quaxo's father looked like a pirate with his big black bushy beard and eye patch, and last but not lest was Quaxo's mother who always seemed to Tugger to radiant 'I am Mother, all powerful.'

The day could only be describe as controlled chaos, the Septuplets where everywhere at once opening and closing doors and cabinets exploring every inch of each flat, the older adults were all inspecting the flats for faults and what not, acting as if they were the ones who might live there, Quaxo kept randomly disappearing and reappearing acting as if he really didn't even care and Tugger was thinking maybe they should consider renting a house.

"Is the rest of your family going to come flat hunting with us next time?" One of Quaxo's little sister asked Tugger.

"The rest of my family?"

"Yeah your sister and brothers," She affirmed.

"No I don't think so," Tugger told her.

"Why not?"

"Well" Tugger began a little awkwardly. "My sister Grizabella is touring the world in an opera company being a diva."

"Dose she send back candy from all over the world?" Chimed in one of Quaxo's little brother.

"No," Tugger said shaking his head.

"What about your brothers?" A different sister asked.

"My younger brothers Victor and George don't really care and just want to hang out with their friends all summer and I'm mad at my older brother Munkustrap so I don't want to be around him," Tugger answered honestly.

"What did he do?" Ask another sister. "Did he brake your favorite dolly?"

"No," Tugger laughed slightly then sobered. "He lied to me and Quaxo too."

"About what?" Asked another brother.

Tugger looked around surprised that he was actually alone with the seven of them while everyone else seemed to arguing where to eat lunch. He wasn't really sure what to tell them. He always hated it when he was a kid and someone would tell him it was complicated after he'd ask a question so he decided to make the answer as simple as possible.

"He told me that Quaxo didn't love me any more and then he told Quaxo that I didn't love him anymore."

"That's so mean," The seven of them echoed in sympathy.

It was like that for most of June and Tugger was being to wonder if he and Quaxo would never find a flat they liked. Then one day Quaxo announced that he liked the place they were looking at.

"You do?" Bustopher Jones asked his nephew in surprise.

"Yes it has a lot of built in shelves. I like that. What do you think Tugger?"

Tugger looked around the apartment it was the nicest one they had seen so far. The living room was painted white with hard wood floor and was rather spacious, Tugger was sure they'd be able to fit a sofa bed in there. Like Quaxo had said there a lot of built in shelves, Tugger could picture where they could put a TV and stereo, there was small fireplace as well and Tugger could see himself and Quaxo lounging in front of it on could autumn and winter nights. There two windows that lead to a fire escape. The kitchen was small and off to side with an open doorway and half a wall that separated it from the living room. It had black and white checkered tile and cabinets built in. It was just big enough to fit a medium sized refrigerator, a stovetop oven, and a table and two chairs.

Tugger pictured himself and eating hurried breakfast on school days and lazy ones on the weekend, making lunch and dinner and dancing in the kitchen as they listened to the radio. There was hallway that lead to one full bathroom and one bedroom. Quaxo would have bedroom and he thought it best not to entertain any thoughts about them sharing the bedroom.

"It's alright for now," He answered lazily. One day he and Quaxo would get a bigger place or even a house.

"But it's so small how are all going to live here without getting in each other's way," One of Quaxo's little sisters asked.

"No kitten," Quaxo answered softly getting down on one knee to look at her in the eye. "Just Tugger and I. I thought you all knew that," He finished looking up at his parents who had somewhat guilty looks on their faces.

"But-but why?" Chimed in one of his little his brothers near close to tears in fact all of the septuplets seemed close to tears at thought of their beloved older brother moving out. "Are you mad at us? Did we do something wrong?" They all asked at once.

"No of course not," Quaxo reassured them.

"Then why?"

"It's just something I need to do," He explained.

"But the last time you went away you where in the bad accident and they couldn't find you!" The child wailed.

"This isn't like that," Quaxo tried to tell them.

"And then when they did find you had to go the hospital for a long time!"

"I know, but…"

"Then when you finally came home, you got real sick and had to go back! We don't want you to go away!"

"I know, but I won't be very fare away, it's only a short drive away and I'll come home and visit a lot and call on the telephone and you what else we can do on weekends sometime?" He asked them trying to muster up some enthusiasm.

The seven children shook their heads no.

"You all come over here and we can have a big sleepover," He told them and then glanced at Tugger as if to dare him to say no.

"Yeah," Tugger chimed in joining the little group. "We can make homemade pizza for dinner and later we can make popcorn and watch movies all night."

Once assured that everything would alright and that they'ed see their brother regularly the seven children calmed down they began asking questions. Were he and Tugger going to paint the apartment? Could they help? What about posters and stickers?

"There's only one bedroom are you gonna get bunkbeds?"

"No," Tugger answered."Quaxo is going to sleep in the bedroom and I'm buy a sofa bed and sleep on that in the living."

The four older adults looked surprised.

"I thought they were back together?" Bustopher Jones whispered to Tugger's father.

"I thought so too."

"You can't sleep on a sofa bed," Quaxo's mother interjected. Quaxo turned beet red at what he thought his mother was going to say or imply. "It will be terrible on your back! You're going to studying dance as well as singing, you can't do that if you're going to have back aches all the time. We have a daybed in the attic that's hardly ever been used. It's much better for your back takes up less space and it's free. You can come by the house later and try it out."

Tugger knew better then to argue with Quaxo's mother and besides it was free.


	3. Chapter 3

Rum Tum Tugger was lounging in his room. Munkustrap's girlfriend Demeter was over the house and Tugger had no desire to spend time with ether of them, especially after the big misunderstand he had with Demeter's sister Bombalurina and the not so nice things he had said to her. One day he was going to have to apologize to Bomba but right he just wanted to work on his Quaxo relationship he was ninety nine precent sure they were together. Quaxo knew how he felt and was pretty sure Quaxo felt the same way, why else would he agree to them moving in together? He had promised he wouldn't pressure Quaxo, but that didn't mean he couldn't flirt with him and let him know how desirable he was right?

_'It's going to be great,'_ Tugger though idly. _'Just me and Quax. No parents and no annoying siblings.'_

"Hey Rum!" Come the voices of his two younger brothers George and Victor as they barreling into his room uninvited.

George was older than Victor by a year and would staring his second year of high school which of course meant Victor would starting his first year.

"What?" Tugger asked in a huff.

"Is it true you're really moving out?" George asked with wonder in his voice. "You didn't change your mind or anything."

"Yep it's true, Quaxo and I are moving in together," He said smugly. "You'll just have to learn to make without your favorite big brother."

"Can I have your room?" Both boys asked at once.

"Huh?" Tugger asked bewailed, where was the despair of having their brother leave home.

"No way!" Said George. "I'm older I should get his room!"

"No I should get his room because you had our room first so by me getting Rum's room means you get to have your old room back!" Victor explained.

"Hey!" Tugger yelled offended. "Quaxo's brothers and sisters were in tears at finding out that he was leaving home! All you two care about is my room!" Tugger huffed.

"Well they are just little kids," George offered.

"Beside," Victor began unthinking. "He did almost die twice. They're bound to be over attached."

Tugger sat up tense as the memories about the accident and the incident came rushing back to him. He almost lost Quaxo…twice.

"Victor!" Came George's angry voice cuffing his younger brother on the shoulder.

"Ow! What?" He cried rubbing his shoulder. Then he saw Tugger's face go pale. "Oh," He said awkwardly. "Sorry Rum. So, you and Quaxo going to have your very own swinging bachelor pad?" He asked in hopes of lighting the mood

"No, Quaxo and I are together," He quickly told them.

"Then how come Quaxo is getting the bedroom and you get the living room?" George asked in his best annoying little brother voice.

"Just because Quaxo and I are together and going to be living together doesn't mean we have to have sex or sleep in the same bed and that goes for anyone else."

George snorted and looked at him in disbelief.

"You, The Rum Tum Tugger are not going to have sex with your boyfriend? Are you going to have an open relationship or are going to have a little something on the side till Quaxo gives in?" He finished wiggling his eye brows.

It took all of Tugger's inner strength not to throttle his brother right then and there.

"No, you little Pollicle!" Tugger said though gritted teeth. "I have never cheated on Quaxo and I never will!"

"What about you and Bomba? You two seemed pretty cozy while Quaxo was in the hospital," Victor chimed in.

"Nothing happened between us!"

"If you say so!" They both said unbelievingly. That was it he was going to kill all of his brothers.

Meanwhile downstairs Munkustrap was enjoying some one on one time with his girlfriend Demeter. Even though he was only a year older then Tugger Munk was already getting salt and pepper hair. Demeter was a blond with back and red strakes in her hair.

"I'm really glad you came to see me before you leave for your vacation," Munkustrap told her taking her hand in his. "With what happen with Tugger and Bomba, I wasn't sure if you wanted to keep seeing me."

Demeter smiled. "I was angry at first, at Tugger for seemingly leading Bomba on and what he said to her and then I was mad at you for introducing them, for not cutting Tugger out of your life for hurting my sister," She admitted. "

_'It wouldn't have mattered,'_ Munkustrap thought sadly. '_Tugger wants nothing to do with me now.'_

"And it was wrong of me for wanting you to do that. Tugger is your brother as much as Bomba is my sister and she's been known to hurt others with her frankness and if the situation had been reversed and you wanted me to do that I…how have you not dumped me?" She asked with a nervous laugh.

"I love you," He told her sincerely. "And I never meant for anyone to get hurt." _'Especially not Quaxo,'_ He thought guilty.

"I know," She told softly. "But when someone is in a toxic relationship with a manipulative person, people are bound to get hurt. Believe me I know from personal experience," She said uncomfortably.

"W-what?" Munkustrap stuttered. Did she know what he did.

"Look I know you've known this Quaxo guy since you were kids and sometimes it's hard to admit that someone you've known for a long time has became a different person, a person you don't want to know anymore," She said gently.

"Deme," He began wanting to say something to defend Quaxo without giving himself away.

"No," She said touching his arm. "Let me finish. It's also hard when someone we love is in a toxic relationship like Tugger is with Quaxo."

"Their relationship isn't toxic," Munk said, he had to say something. "It's always been more a love/hate relationship than anything and Quaxo isn't the person you think he is."

"What do you call someone who guilts into getting back together with them by trying to kill themselves?" Demeter asked seriously.

"I…don't think that's what happened," Munkustrap said.

Demeter sighed but decided to not to go into it further. "Bomba still loves him and we both agree that deep down Tugger loves her too."

"Deme," Munkustrap began. "Rum and Quaxo are going to be moving in together."

"Look, just know that both Bomba and I will be there for Tugger when the time comes."

Munkustrap was saved from saying anything when the doorbell rang. Demeter offered to get it leaving Munkustrap alone to put his head in hands. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control! He wanted to tell Demeter the truth and about the accident Quaxo was in and his role in trying to break Quaxo and Tugger up.

Quaxo took a deep, he shouldn't be nervous he'd been to Tugger's house plenty of times before, as Tugger's friend and as his boyfriend and technically he and Tugger still together right? Maybe should have called first, but he didn't want to risk talking to Munkustrap, he just couldn't deal with him. He really hoped Munk wouldn't answer the door.

The door was opened by a beautiful young woman with a pixie hair cut, golden hair with red and black highlights. Quaxo had no idea who she was, was she Bombalurina? If she was why she here? Did Tugger change his mind about them? Or was Munkustrap playing another game with him? Quaxo realized that woman had been speaking to him and he had just been staring at her rudely and now she was closing the door, he quickly put his foot in the doorway to stop her.

"Munk!" She yelled fearfully. "There's really creepy guy out here!"

Munkustrap run to the front door as fast as he could ready to protect Demeter from…

"Quaxo…" He said softly he hadn't seen him in months not since…"Um, hi, how have you been?" He asked lamely. That earned him the iciest glare from Quaxo. "Right, so I guess you're here to see Rum?" That got him a what do you think look. "Hey Rum!" Munkustrap called to his brother.

"Go fu…!

"Quaxo's here!" He quickly interrupted.

Tugger quickly raced down the stairs two steps at a time when he reached the front door and saw Quaxo standing the porch his mouth went dry, Quaxo was dressed in black tight jeans, lace up black boots, a black leather jacket, and he was holding his motorcycle helmet under his arm, and was he wearing black eyeliner?

"Oh be still my heart and libido!" Tugger said as began to circle Quaxo in an almost predatory fashion, earning an annoyed look from Quaxo. "Mmm, what's up you sexy, sexy man! Besides my…"

"Rum!" Munkustrap shunted as both he and Demeter turned beet red.

"Pulse rate," Tugger finished with a smirk.

Quaxo said nothing and Demeter cleared her throat.

"Quaxo, this is Demeter, my girlfriend," Munkustrap introduced her.

"I'm also Bombalurina sister," She said wondering what his reaction would be. And Quaxo's reaction was none.

"So Quaxo, babe why are you here?" Tugger asked.

Seeing that Munk and Demeter weren't going to leave, he put his hand to his chest and then to Tugger's, then he did an improve dance move. Tugger looked at him and put his hand on his chin in thought then he did his own dance movie. Quaxo shook his head and tried again. Tugger laughed and clapped understanding what Quaxo meant and answered in a shuffle ball step. Quaxo nodded.

"Let me get my jacket," Tugger said before running inside it get his own leather jacket with a fur collar. When he came back outside the two took off down the sidewalk to Quaxo's Vincent Black Shadow motorcycle.

"Sure you don't want me to drive?" Tugger asked. "I don't mind if you don't feel up it."

"I'm not an invalid," He huffed. "I have to start living my life the way I used to live before the accident. Besides gives you an excuse to cop a feel," He said handing Tugger his spare helmet and getting on the bike.

"So I need excuse now do I?" Tugger asked in his best flirty voice sitting down behind Quaxo and squeezing his knee.

Quaxo turned his head, "I don't know Tug, do you?" In a voice that sent pleasant chills down Tugger's spine.

They were going to look at apartment again, but this time without their families. The was pleasant and Tugger savored holding Quaxo close as he arms were wrapped around him while Quaxo drove. It was funny to look at them most people would assume that Tugger rode a motorcycle and Quaxo drove a car, but the thing was Quaxo didn't drive period. He didn't have license and his parents didn't force him to learn. But motorbikes and cycles that he did learn. He had once told Tugger, that riding on a motorcycle made him feel like he was riding on a broom stick to places far distance. Tugger had wanted to learn to ride a motorcycle too, but he didn't have patience to learn properly and had tried pop a wheelie, he ended up crashing and baking his leg.

Quaxo had help him though it, tutored him so he wouldn't fall behind in school, help with physical therapy and that was before they started dating, during a rocking patching in their friendship when they were growing up and apart, but Quaxo had stuck with him when Tugger needed him and Quaxo had need him Tugger had hardly been there and he hated himself for it.

The apartment seemed a lot bigger without both of their families crowding up the place.

"What are you measuring the doorway for?" Tugger asked him.

"To see if the cat tree will fit."

"Oh. Wait the cat tree? You mean the cats are going to come with us?" He ask him surprised.

"Yeah, didn't I tell you?" Quaxo asked him casually.

"No you didn't," Tugger answered somewhat miffed.

"That's funny I could sworn I did," Quaxo said softly sounding upset. He leaned against the doorframe and frowned.

"Hey, you've had a lot on your mind lately," Tugger said crossing over to him and placing his hand on Quaxo's shoulder. "You probably were going to tell me and then later thought you did. So how many cats three? Four?"

"All seven of them."

"Quaxo, we can not have seven cats," Tugger said firmly.

"Yes we can I checked. The building's pet friendly."

"That's not what I meant," Tugger huffed.

"What's the problem, they're all spayed and neutered, up to date with their vetting, litter trained…"

"No cat is completely litter trained. And speaking of that…"

"I'll clean up after them and take care of them. You don't have to left a finger to help. Besides I thought you liked cats."

"That's not the point," Tugger argued. "Do you have any idea how expensive taking care of seven cats is going to be?"

"She provided for them in her will," Quaxo said softly.

"What?"

"She provided for them in her will!" Quaxo repeated louder. "There's plenty of money for their care, more than enough. So it's fine."

"Did she leave you anything?" Tugger asked curiously.

"Dose it matter?" Before Tugger could answer, Quaxo continued" The cats are my responsibility. I help raised them as kittens and trained them."

"I still don't see why can't your family take care of them. You've got seven siblings, they'd each have a cat."

"My dad wants to get a dog, a Newfoundland dog. It be too much. And dog's are not always cat friendly and I worry about something happening.

"Yeah, but what about your uncle? He has a big house, plenty of room for them. And besides you said you could barely take care of yourself, how to do you expect to take care of seven cats?" Tugger wasn't sure why he was so opposed to the idea of having the cats. He liked cats really he did, if he could be any animal in the world he'd a cat. Grown up he had a cat, well it was his father's cat, but he had loved the old cat. But seven was a lot, three or four okay, seven wasn't that like close to hoarding?

Quaxo seemed to be doing some kind of breathing exercise, his fingers were twitching. Tugger remembered that Quaxo was nervous or agitated he'd shuffle a pack of playing cards. Funny Quaxo didn't seem to carry cards anymore. Finally Quaxo seemed to calm down taking on final deep breath he looked Tugger in the eyes.

"Rum Tum Tugger, I love you! But I'm not giving up my cats for you!"

Tugger looked at him in shock Quaxo loved him? Even though though he'd been a horrible excuse of a best friend and boyfriend to him? Tugger felt so happy for moment he thought he was going to pass out from it. The last time he had felt this happy was when he and Quaxo had both had confessed feeling more than friendship for each other and wanting to be in relationship. Wait why was Quaxo looking upset? If it was possible Tugger's eyes went wider when he realized he hadn't said it back and it was the first real 'I love you'. They had never really said it before. Despite what Tugger had said to Quaxo's siblings. It was something that was left unspoken. They had said things like 'I adore you' 'I'm terribly found of you' 'I just can't do without you.'

"Look," Quaxo began struggling to keep his voice even. "If you don't…if you can't…say it back it's…it's understandable…I…"

Tugger rushed forward and engulfed in a tight hug before cupping his face with his hands. "I love you! I love so so much! I've loved you since I understood what love was and even before. I don't deserve you in any way," He wanted to pepper his face with kisses, but didn't. "I'm selfish and stupid. I'm always messing up with you and you always take me back and I don't why, but I'm so grateful you do and I swear to you I won't mess up this time."

"Tugger…" Quaxo murmured softly.

"You want the seven cats? Will have the seven cats oaky?"

"Thank you," Quaxo breathed slowly putting his arms around Tugger returning the hug.


End file.
